Friday, March 22, 2019

Seize Your Passion!

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  • VIDEO: Jennifer Lopez on Mistakes, Purpose, and Believing in Yourself

    Jennifer Lopez gets real, raw, and emotional as she talks about how she relates to her character in the film Second Act, how sometimes our mistakes lead us to our purpose, and most importantly – the power of believing in yourself. #SeizeYourPassion!

    Source: YouTube

    Author: Thrive Global

  • Article: Jennifer Lopez’s “Second Act” Isn’t Just a Rom-Com — It Will Inspire You to Take Risks That Lead to the Life You Want

    The lessons from Lopez’s latest film can power you to new levels of success and happiness.

    Jennifer Lopez in Second Act

    For anyone who’s ever been told they weren’t enough, felt stigmatized by their life choices, or simply felt they don’t fit in, Jennifer Lopez’s latest film Second Act is for you. The comedy urges all of us — especially women — to break free from unhealthy societal pressures and expectations. 

    The story follows Maya (Lopez), a self-described “street smart” Bronx-native who’s worked at a big-box grocery store for 15 years. With hard work and savvy, she’s helped the retail giant improve profits and boost customer satisfaction, but is passed over for a promotion — on her 40th birthday, no less! — which goes to a far less effective employee, who has had the privilege of a formal education from a fancy school. Her disappointment is exacerbated by the fact that she’s not where she’d hope to be in her life. A secret from her past haunts her and stymies her ability to move forward with her boyfriend Trey (played by This Is Us’s Milo Ventimiglia), who wants to start a family,  and her lack of higher education limits her career prospects. 

    To help soothe her birthday blues and grant her wish, her best friend’s gifted son, who’s on his way to Stanford University on a Google scholarship, secretly creates a false online profile for her indicating that she graduated from Harvard, as well as the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business, and speaks fluent Mandarin, which gets her an interview — and an executive-level consultant position — at a huge cosmetics company. There, she undertakes an impossible challenge — to create a totally organic face cream that will boost profits, all in 10 weeks. Along the way, she figures out who she is in a movie that crackles with important life lessons like these: 

    Use your self-doubt to propel your success

    In a world that feeds women the message that they’re not thin enough, attractive enough, smart enough, strong enough, Maya (like many of us) struggles with self-doubt. The movie opens on the morning she heads to work to make a case for her promotion. In a romantic scene between her and her longtime beau, Trey, he reiterates his faith in her: “The only thing stopping you is you.” While that’s not entirely true — she’s skipped over for the promotion because she doesn’t have a degree  — she does (in an epic scene) challenge her boss’s assertion that her well-educated co-worker is the best man for the job. “No sir,” she says, “I am.” 

    It’s not shocking that it took her years to understand her worth. Several studies confirm a “confidence gap” between men and women, where men are far more inclined to ask for raises and promotions than their female counterparts. But other research shows that we can use our uncertainty to propel our professional success and personal growth. Challenging ourselves to take risks beyond our comfort zones, gives us the opportunity to grow our skill set and confidence, as Maya eventually does.

    Aim higher than you thought possible

    “A lie got you in the door, but you got yourself the job, baby.” That’s what Maya’s best friend, Joan (played by Leah Remini, whose impeccable comic timing and relatability is reason alone to see this movie) tells her, as she repeatedly slaps Maya’s face, enthusing: “Who’s the champ? Who’s the champ? You’re the champ!” The movie takes “fake it till you make it” to wild new heights, as Maya trips (and gets back up) repeatedly during her 10 week stint as a consultant for the beauty company. While no one should fabricate their educational and professional histories to increase their job prospects, the underlying message is to brave the challenge of rising above the familiar and comfortable to reach new levels of self development.

    Find your truth

    For her first day of work as a high-powered consultant, Maya dons an outfit that’s decidedly not her. Luckily, Joan is there to remind her (throughout the film, really) who she is: “You need to wear anything other than that,” she says. “You look like Mrs. Doubtfire.” Heeding her friend’s advice, Maya throws on a number that’s true to herself and appropriate — and pure fire. It’s important to bring your whole self to work, and that includes clothes that authentically communicate your truth. In another key scene, when Joan sees Maya losing herself in the fiction created for her online, she says: “Don’t confuse this Facebook thing with who you really are.” Through a bundle of missteps and misfires, Maya eventually finds her way back to herself — and that’s when her life really starts to take off in all the right ways.

    Heed these words from J.Lo herself: Don’t give up

    At a panel to promote Second Act, which also featured Thrive Global’s founder and CEO Arianna Huffington, Jennifer Lopez broke down how she manifested her dreams. When everyone told her her talent wasn’t enough, she told the crowd, “I just kept going. You ask me what I did? Despite the hurt and the pain, I just kept going. I couldn’t allow myself to let that become who I was. It’s like, ‘No, I’m going to make another record; I’m going to make another song; I’m going to make another movie and I did. And that’s all I did…I kept going.” After working hard and forging ahead, she added, “I started believing in the fact that I wasn’t an impostor, that I wasn’t a fake, that there was a reason I kept doing this and people kept hiring me.”

    Reject the naysaying voices and keep moving in the direction of your dreams. You’ll get there.

    Source: Thrive Global

    Author: Stephanie Fairyington, Thrive Global Senior Staff Writer

  • Article: When You Are Overwhelmed By The Pressure To Find Your Passion

    Start with something less scary — curiosity.

    I was talking with a friend of mine last week about a midlife career change.

    She was feeling overwhelmed.

    She has been a successful accountant for many years. She works in a lucrative part of the accounting industry and has a good roster of clients that have been with her for a long time.

    But she wants out.

    She needs to work for financial reasons, for sure, but that is no longer what drives her. She wants to do something she loves. That aligns with her values in life. But a midlife career change feels enormous. Where to begin? What to do? When you can pick, well, anything, what do you choose?

    And then you have to commit to it.

    She knows what she doesn’t like, but can’t pin down what she loves. And she feels that it’s such a big task that she can’t seem to even start figuring it out. Instead she sits in her accounting office, unhappy, trying to talk herself through each day.

    Flash forward to a few days later. I am snowshoeing with my dog, Rosie, and listening to a podcast. It was an interview with the writer, Elizabeth Gilbert. In it she says (this is an excerpt from her blog on the same topic):

    We are constantly being told to pursue our passions in life, but there are times when passion is a TALL ORDER, and really hard to reach. But curiosity, I have found, is always within reach.

    Passion is a tower of flame, but curiosity is a tiny tap on the shoulder — a little whisper in the ear that says, “Hey, that’s kind of interesting…”

    Passion is rare; curiosity is everyday.

    Curiosity is therefore a lot easier to reach at at times than full-on passion — and the stakes are lower, easier to manage.

    The trick is to just follow your small moments of curiosity. It doesn’t take a massive effort. Just turn your head an inch. Pause for a instant. Respond to what has caught your attention. Look into it a bit. Is there something there for you? A piece of information?

    I literally stopped in my tracks.

    Liz Gilbert was referring to creative projects. But how much does this resonate for all of us?

    It’s all the rage to seek out our side hustle, our passion project. A goal that we keep our eyes toward with a single minded purpose until we get there, by any means necessary. And if we don’t have a passion, our lives are lacking; two dimensional.

    But doesn’t that feel like a lot of pressure? Especially for those of us who are perfectionists. The need to pick exactly the right thing can sometimes keep us from picking anything. Or, we need to mull over a few options while we work on our mindset. Because we realize that our passion might not align with other people’s values, or their vision of us. So we need to work up to passion. We can’t get there right from the beginning.

    And there are other people who love to dabble in three or four projects at once. It’s the diversity and uniqueness of each one that fuels them. They enjoy a lot of different things, and that roster keeps changing. The constant change helps to keep them engaged. But they feel ashamed that they can’t pick one passion that rises above them all.

    Then there’s the vast majority of us, who have no idea what our passion is at all.

    So let’s all reframe the conversation. As Liz Gilbert says, let’s step away from the Tall Order of passion. Let’s focus on what makes us curious.

    Curiosity doesn’t need commitment. It doesn’t need you to “hustle” or compromise other areas of your life. You can’t fail when all you’re trying to do is be curious. Curious is not black or white, all or nothing. Curious is one small step forward. And you can be curious about several things at once, no harm no foul.

    At one time I was curious about a company in my town that takes dogs for hikes. They pick up your dog, load them up in their van, take them for a two hour hike, and bring them home, rinsed and happy. I love dogs and I love hiking. So I was curious.

    I met with the owners, I hiked a bunch of dogs. I loved it. But I also realized how much physical labor is required. And the potential risk of dogs who don’t get along. Or dogs who like to hunt. You’re hiking with four dogs at a time, alone in the woods. Praying they don’t all see a deer and go after it at full speed, dragging you down the trail.

    So, I told the owners they had an incredible business, and wished them luck. I enjoyed the experience and was ready to try something else. Nothing wrong with that. I didn’t fail at a commitment I made to myself. I didn’t take my eyes off the prize. I pursued one avenue and then became curious about something else.

    I found my passion — writing — but I was curious about a lot of other things first.

    So the next time I see my friend, I want to tell her to be curious. What does she like about her current job? What interests her? Music, or non-profits, or healthcare? She doesn’t have to pick one. Or commit to any. She has to think about what she enjoys. What she wants to know more about. And go from there.

    Source: Medium

    Author: Deb Knobelman, PhD


  • VIDEO: Ask Yourself What Makes You Come Alive | Oprah

    A short clip from Oprah’s 2013 Harvard Commencement Speech

    As yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that! This is how “you will find true success and happiness.” – Oprah

    #SeizeYourPassion!

    Clip from Oprah’s 2013 Harvard Commencement Speech

    Source: YouTube

    Author: Harvard University

  • VIDEO: Live Your Truth | Goalcast

    Don’t Let Others Stop You From Living Your Own Truth | Motivational Video | Goalcast

    “Everybody is not going to get you….You can’t live to please people. You got to live your truth. There’s going to be people out there that don’t get your vision, don’t get your purpose, gonna talk about you, gonna say you changed, they don’t get why you left some things behind. But you can’t let that stop you from moving forward. You can’t let that steal your passion. You have to be willing to be misunderstood….And it’s ok…because it’s your life.” Live Your Truth!

    Former professional football player Trent Shelton reminds you to never silence your voice even in the face of those who don’t understand you.

    Source: YouTube

    Author: Goalcast

  • Video: How To Avoid The Biggest Regret Of Your Life | Marie Forleo

    Watch this short but brilliant MarieTV episode on how to be true to yourself and avoid this #1 top regret of the dying: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

    Living for other people’s expectations guarantees you’ll fall short of your own.” – Marie Forleo

    It’s a natural human desire to want to please the people around us….But you don’t have to suppress your true nature or ignore your deepest heart’s desire in order to be loved and accepted….Your time here on earth is limited. Don’t waste it chasing approval and ignoring what you really want.” – Marie Forleo

    Do More of What You Love! Be More of Who You Love! #SeizeYourPassion!

    Video Source: YouTube

    Video Author: MarieTv, Marie Forleo

  • Video: This Isn’t Love | by Jay Shetty

    Real Meaning, Purpose, and Fulfillment Takes Time

    Source: YouTube – Jay Shetty

  • Failure Is Part of Success, Especially for Women

    Women are terrified to allow themselves to fail. Here’s how to reframe that mindset and boost your success.

    If you’ve never failed at something, how do you know when you’re succeeding? For women that question is harder to answer because they’re less likely to allow themselves to fail, according to a recent article by U.S. News & World Report called, “To Succeed, Women Must Learn to Fail Forward.”

    “Research has shown that women are judged more harshly for their mistakes than men and may respond by being more risk averse,” writes Linda Kramer Jenning, the author of the article. “As a result, some women may not seize leadership opportunities and that worries those committed to achieving gender equity.”

    The thing is, when you don’t fail, you don’t allow yourself to become stronger in that process, resulting in more resilience — which is a key part of being a successful leader, according to a 2018 study on nurse managers published in the U.S. National Library of Medicine. But the stakes are so much higher for women to begin with, as just 6.4 percent of Fortune 500 companies are led by women — a number that is actually on the decline, per the Pew Research Center’s 2017 data report.

    Still, the benefits of failure go beyond resilience. For women, especially, being open about failure makes leaders more relatable and therefore effective. “People appreciate that you’re not perfect all the time,” Jessica Grounds, co-founder of Mine the Gap, a firm that works with companies to close their gender gaps, told U.S. News. Grounds suggests that women build a trusted team in and out of the workplace who will give constructive criticism and coach them through a failure.

    That sentiment that failure is a powerful aspect of success has been echoed by handfuls of female leaders. Whenever you need a reminder on how to embrace failure and move forward stronger, bookmark this page to revisit these wise words of advice from mega-successful women from Oprah to Thrive’s own Arianna Huffington:

    Oprah: “You are bound to stumble.”

    “It doesn’t matter how far you might rise,” Oprah said in 2013 at Harvard’s commencement address. “At some point, you are bound to stumble. If you’re constantly pushing yourself higher and higher, the law of averages predicts that you will at some point fall. And when you do, I want you to remember this: There is no such thing as failure. Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction.” 

    J.K. Rowling: “Failure directed my energy into what matters.”

    Likewise, at a 2008 Harvard commencement address, J.K. Rowling revealed that failure can even lead you down a path that’s much more fulfilling than the one you were on before. “Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential,” she said, referencing the time before she allowed herself to pursue writing and pen the Harry Potter series. “I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged.”

    Beyoncé: “You’re never too good to lose.”

    In the words of Beyoncé: “The reality is, sometimes you lose. And you’re never too good to lose, you’re never too big to lose, you’re never too smart to lose, it happens. And it happens when it needs to happen. And you have to embrace those things.”

    Anna Wintour: “Everyone should be sacked at least once.”

    Even Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour has talked about the importance of failure before, telling Alastair Campbell in his 2015 book, Winners: And How They Succeed, “Everyone should be sacked at least once in their career because perfection doesn’t exist. It’s important to have setbacks because that is the reality of life.”

    Lady Gaga: “Cry, then go kick some ass.”

    When it’s not as easy to embrace those setbacks, though, you can remember this anecdote Lady Gaga told about getting dropped from a record label. “I remember when I got dropped from my first record label. I just said, ‘Mommy, let’s go see Grandma,’” Gaga told MTV in 2011. “And I cried on my grandmother’s couch. She looked at me, and she goes, ‘I’m going to let you cry for the rest of the day, and then you have to stop crying, and you have to go kick some ass.’”

    Vera Wang: “Pick yourself right up and start again.”

    Fashion designer Vera Wang pursued a career as an ice skater prior to entering fashion. “When you fall down — which you have to [do] if you want to learn to be a skater — you pick yourself right up and start again,” Wang told Business of Fashion in 2013. “You don’t let anything deter you.”‘

    Arianna Huffington: “Failure is a stepping stone to success.”

    There is also plenty of wisdom to be gleaned from Thrive’s own Arianna Huffington, who recalled in 2016, “My mother kept telling my teenage self: that ‘failure is not the opposite of success, it’s a stepping stone to success.’ I think she would really enjoy how many times I had let myself fail along the way.”

    Source: Thrive Global

    Author: Marissa Muller

  • Article: 3 Lies We Believe When We Grow Up

    My eyes were glued to the TV. I couldn’t look away except to glance at my parents long enough to say with confidence, “I’m going to do that one day.” There was a band playing live and I could’ve sworn I found my destiny that day.

    I also was four.

    Yet, as soon as I was old enough to drive I started a metal band with my drummer friend, Zac.

    It was a two man band for about a year. I would go to his house almost daily and shred on my cheap Jackson guitar while he wailed on the drums in his bedroom. I still can’t believe his parents let us get away with the racket.

    Once we wrote enough songs to play a gig, we added two more members. Zac had a friend who couldn’t sing at all, but he could scream. He became our front man. We hung flyers in a couple music stores to find our second guitarist, Jana. She loved pink, wore Converse everyday of her life, and was a better guitarist than I was.

    We played any gig we could get. Barns, event centers, churches, high schools, you name it.

    The whole experience was awesome for about six months. Then I graduated high school and made the difficult decision of moving 928 miles away to attend music school. I started working my way up in the program, and within three years, I was touring with some fairly big names in my genre. We even played for packed out stadiums. I thought my destiny was practically set.

    Except that it wasn’t.

    Touring was still part of the music school, which meant I didn’t get paid. After two years of sleeping on host home floors and eating from the McDonalds dollar menu three times a day, I’d had enough. It was time to leave and find a “real job” so I could support myself (and also marry the piano player in the band).

    I left the band and tried to start a career. The problem was, I was twenty-three and hadn’t gone to college. While my friends were off getting degrees, I’d been busy trying to become a rock star. Thus, the only job I could find was in sales.

    You know that guy who interrupts you while you’re shopping and tries to sell you stuff you don’t need? That was me. I sold satellite TV systems from a booth in Sam’s Club.

    There are no words to describe how it feels to go from playing music for a several thousand teenagers every weekend, to being ignored by shoppers who just want to get their groceries and go home.

    Yet there I was, starting over from scratch. The promising future of stardom slipped through my fingers, and there wasn’t a Plan B. All the dreams and aspirations I once had seemed to have come and gone. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel like I have much to show for it.

    I had this mental checklist of things I would accomplish before I was 30. But as I inch closer to that date, I become discouraged.

    I know I’m not supposed to find my self-worth in what I do or what I’ve accomplished. But I can’t help looking at my life and asking, “Who am I? Am I valuable if I don’t measure up to my definition of success?

    I think most of us feel that way. Maybe it’s getting married, having kids, finishing school, earning a certain level of income, or owning a home. We have this checklist in the back of our minds of what we need to accomplish in order to be valuable. That list, however, is a threat to our identity.

    So if you’re like me, here are three internal lies you’ll face as you grow older.

    Lie 1: Your Value Is Determined By Your Accomplishments

    One of the first questions we ask when meeting someone new is, “What do you do?” Maybe for you that’s just small talk. But for many of us, it’s also a way to size the other up. I know, because I do it a lot.

    What we do is often closely tied to our identity and value. But when all is said and done—and you breath your last breath on this Earth—who you are is what will matter, not what you do. You will be remembered not by the money you made or the Twitter followers you have. Instead, people will remember you by your authenticity, vulnerability, generosity, and most importantly, how you treated people.

    That simple fact reminds me of the wise words of Jesus Christ, “What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?”

    Lie 2: It’s Time To Grow Up And Give Up Your Dreams

    I don’t know about you, but when I see 12-year-olds becoming YouTube sensations, I feel more than a little discouraged. Despite their fame, the truth is that we all have different talents and we’re all on our own journey. Most of the time, we’re exactly where we need to be.

    Your dreams may look different than you once thought they would, but that doesn’t mean they’re over.

    I once heard a quote from Howard Thurman that goes:

    “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

    Never stop pursuing your passions and hobbies. It’s what makes life worth living. Not just for you, but for others too.

    Lie 3: You Are Behind

    The lie playing on repeat in my brain this year is, “You’re behind.”

    It’s a lie that comes from the comparison trap.

    Comparing ourselves to others is one of most powerful weapons against our soul. It keeps us discouraged. It keeps us from trying. We believe up front that we don’t measure up, and that’s almost never true.

    Know this: we compare everything we know about ourselves to what other people choose to show us—which is usually their best side.

    But we don’t know their inner struggles. We don’t know the lies and insecurities they deal with. It’s an unfair comparison that will always leave you feeling like a failure.

    Finding New Dreams

    After I stopped touring, it took several years to recover and find myself again. While I still play music, it’s nothing like it used to be. I’ve had to discover new dreams and reinvent old ones.

    I’ve always been a writer. I used to write songs, but now that opportunity is gone. That chance may come back one day, but for now it’s shelved. Instead, I’ve found different ways to chase my dreams.

    Instead of wishing for opportunities that are no longer available, I decided to do what was in front of me. For me, that was writing and creating art in different mediums, which has led to some incredible opportunities.

    Your opportunities await you as well. If there is anything I wish someone would have said to a young, defeated twenty-something years ago, it would be this:

    If your life has taken a turn, remember to lean in. You never know what new opportunities might be waiting around the corner.

    Source: HeartSupport

    Author: Ken Reid

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